The Diary of Micah
by SURGER-RUSH-HAPPYNESS
Summary: Ever wounder what the hot, and manly Micah writes in his diary? Now you get to see what goes on in that smart mind beneath the sexy hair. His diary shows intelligence and sensitiveness. Super manly hot Micah is so emotionally deep.
1. Spring 1 thur 6 Year 1

Spring 1 Year 1

HAI MY NAMES MICAH but I think it's a rlly dumb name so just call me Erin. I wandered into a town filled with beautiful woman with no memories why cuz I'm hawt. This one girl with a dumb name told me I have to write in this smelly book or I might forget again... I LIKE MEN but I don't think Carlos and that hawt one eyed black smith are into that so I'll just settle for the hawt black smith's female roommate YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAAAYAY SHE HAS RED HAIR AND HER NAME IS RAVEN!

Spring 2 Year 1

WAAAAAA WAAAAAA WAAAAAAAA FARM WORK IS HARRRRD SOPHIA SAID SHE HATES MY FACE!

Spring 5 Year 1

I have been giving Raven flowers and crap

Spring 6 Year 1

I went in to the forest and got beat up WAAAAAAH I WANT MAH MERIOSIES BACK I BET WHERE EVER I CAME FROM WAS BETTER THAN THIS!


	2. Spring 7 thur Spring 9 Year 1

Spring 7 Year 1

Okay so I just found out that yesterday was some festive with beans and crap, but those bastards never told me about it so the old smelly pedo man that works at the flower shop told me because I was so dispointed he will throw it again in 3 dyas time but I should keep in mind that this is a one time offer and will not be happening again. I AM SO HAPPY BECAUSE I LIKE BEANS AND MEN BUT I AM SO GONNA BANG THAT RED HAIRED CHICK HER HAIR IS SO CRIMSON!

Spring 8 Year 1

Okay so that GIRL with a rlly STUPID NAME followed me around all day talking about flowers. She said I should plant them and shit cuz it wpuld appently make her happy, but yeah so I said yes. The only reason why I am doing this shit is so I can give them to Raven. Raven calls me and idiot alot of the time but I am not rlly sure why. I mean whats up with the hate. I mean yes your one eyed roommater or is it your brother or boyfriend or best friend or sex slave master, or dad or combo of what i had said is hawter than you you are still very bangable. Oh and it was that one lazy bitch's mom's brithday today I got her a dimond I found in some wooly's poop.

Spring 9 Year 1

OH MY HOLY SHIT GOSH THE DAY IS TOMMROW WHERE I GET TO DO THE BEAN THING.

That one girl won't shut up about god damn flowers

Raven is still very hot.


	3. Spring 10 thur 13 Year 1

Spring 10, Year 1

Okay so today was the day the pedo re throw the bean throwing comp (appenlty they didn't even bother having it one the 6th do to lack of demonds just what the fucking hell brp?) So they still had all thir shit and stuff. The old pedo (appently his name is Wells) threated to kill me if I ever miss another festivale like this. As soon as I got their everyone started calling me a demond and then they threw shit at me. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUCKING BEAN LANDED PAINFULY DOWN MY THROUGHT OR IN MY EYES. I am still crying from it. I am just sitting here on my bed crying on my diary. They didn't just throw beans at me... THEY ALSO THREW FUCKING FOOD AT ME. They didn't even bother taking it off the plate, I have so much glass in my sexy sudcutive soft skin right now it isn't funny. Great now I got blood on the paper. The food wasn't even good food it was discuting and brunt.

Spring 11, Year 1

Okay so I have been trainging alot in the fucking places where monsters are, but they keep on scrating me HOLY CRAP WHAT IF I GET AIDS, wut ever that is. It was that werid flower obbsed girls brithday today... I got her a wooly furball she was like "OMMMMGGGGG" and then talked about flowers again for like a half and hour. Little does she know dat is pissed in da furball before giving it to her lawl.

Spring 12, Year 1

today I relasized my love for Evelyn and I gave her a wooly furball (don't worry i didnt piss in it.) She is sexy and desigins clothes, I wounder what they look like. Maybe if I am nice o her she will show me ^.^ Sophia says she hates my face and wants to punch me repadly in my ball sack and then make me eat my dick... for such a pretty lady she sure is a jerk.

Spring 13, Year 1

I talked to this girl named Carman I dont like her cuz she smells like fish.

Also what the hell is a transformaion belt when I try to use this werid orby thingy it says I need one.

What is this I don't even.


	4. Spring 14 thur 15 Year 1

Spring 14, Year 1

So i just found out about this faggy Raccoon that has been jacking everybody shit and shitty behaviors like that so tommrow I am going to go cut that muthar fucker up with my sharp pointy think, that makes me bleed if the sides touch my skin. This one girl with a big rack called me her assainatint today and wants me to bring her a bunch of shit. HELP ME I DONT WANT TO BE THAT BIG BUSTED WOMAN'S SLAVE.

Spring 15, Year 1

Okay sooo 2day I walked in to the froset, god I hate forsests... I just want to light them on fire and yell **_"SCREW YOU MR. FOREST I HATE YOU."_** BUT PIA (A Mermaid that tottaly wants my cock like she seriously wants my cock sheKEEPS ON asks if she can see my Cluckadoodles but i tell her i dont have any cuz i dont) would probz kill meh. So anyways I walked in to the forset, but then a wooly punched me in the side and I started bleeding out of my eyes, so then this old hag comes up and heals me and its like "ITS FREE OF CHARGER FAWKER." and then Wells came up to me and was like "WHY THE HELL ARENT YOU FISHING GO TO CARMEN TO GET A GOD DAMN POLE, DON'T YOU REMBER I TOLD YOU I WOULD KILL YOU IF YOU KEPT ON MISSING SHIT?" So I went to Carmen to get my pole and then she beat me up with hers and gave me mine after she kicked me in the balls ten times. Apently Carmen herd something about me calling her "A smelly bish dyke that smells more like fish then Pia" So then Carlos came in and asked what was going on and when he found out he stared kicking my in the stomche intill I puked blood. If you are woundering why Pia wasnt offtened it is because she loves fish so she came and gave me a kiss. Needless to say I did not win the fishing contest or beat the fagy raccoon.


	5. Spring 16 thur 18 Year 1

Spring 16 Year 1

So right now I am covered and bandages and the lazy white haired bitche (Appently her name is Karina) came over to my house and said this "Congratz...you have manged to be so apthic and lazy that I am yawwwwwwwwwwwwn wait was I oh yeah YOU MANGED TO BE SUCH A LAZY BITCH THAT I FOUND THE NEED TO DRAG MY ASS OUT OF BED A CLIME UP THESES LONG ASS STARIS JUST TO TELL YOU THIS...yawn...YOU HAVEN'T SOLD A GODDAMN THING YOU BASTARD" She then slaped me a passed out.

Spring 17 Year 1

So today I went to the flower shop and the flower obbsed bitch was like "LAWL COLONE TIME LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL" and then sprayed me with some of it. She was like "It's Strange Scent lololololololol" so then I walked up to Raven and she was like "Stay away from me... Nice smell..." so then i checked my mail box and I found a letter from her "Come here" is what the letter read on the envolpe. So I went in to her place of employment, and she was like "We...we...we need to delive this to Evelyn..." so I said "okay I'll devlier this to Evelyn." and then Raven was like "...no...WE...need to deliver this to Evelyn." So we wen't over to Evelyn's house and barged in to her room and she was like "OH HAI GUISES." and we was like "HAI" and then she was like "WUT YOU DOING WITH MICAH?" and I was like "It's Erin..." and then Raven was like "We came to bring you this delivery" and Eyelyn was like "Orly" and we were like "yarly" and then Eyelyn was like "NOWAI" and we were like "Yawai" and then Eyelyn was like "But why is Micah...er Erin with you." and then Raven just gasped and ran away. I was like OH FUUUU... and ran way too. Eveyln doesn't know that I stole a pair of her panties on the way out...TEE HEE TEE HEE

Spring 18, Year 1

So I got my ass all the way to the back of the froset only to find out that...that I can't get thru the god damn door way yet so I had to move some stactues so they face eachother or some shit... and then I found out that I have to drag my ass all the way to the other side of the forset and do the same thing there. So then the door opened magical witch was sweet and shit like that. So I opened the door, got on the floor and saw that it was missing a bridge required to enter the ruins... It looks like I am going to have to get help from that rainbow obsed chick with a big bust that thinks I am her slave. OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT


	6. Spring 19 thur 20 Year 1

Spring 19 Year 1

I woke up at noon and ate some past date food that I had found in the trash, like I do every moring. I took my daily desent down the tree house's steeps and began my way to the forset to meet with the big busted rainbow obbsed slave driver when suddenly Carlos came and grabbed me from behind. I tried to fight at frist but failed because I am just a whimpy pansay ass fag...

"YOU BLOODY BASTARD, WELLS SENT ME TO GET YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCH A STUPID WANKER, YOU PROBALY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT BLOODY DAY IT IS DO YOU? IT IS WOOLY DAY YOU WORTHLESS PRAT! MICAH YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS BLOODY SOD! DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE YOU ARE ABOUT TO CRY, WANKER, WHAT THE BLOOD HELL WHY AM I SPEACKING LIKE A BLOODY BRIT, I AM NOT A BRIT I AM A DIM MINDED SURFER WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE? IT MUST BE YOU FAULT ERIN I AM BLAMING THIS ON YOU."

I fought back every urge to call him out on calling me Micah when my name is Erin but I was to whimpy... I MEAN MANLY... to do it thankfuly he called me Erin the second time so that made me happyer. So after he yelled at me he climed to the top of my tree house and then flung me to the ground, and then picked me up again, and then draged me to the town sqaure. What I saw was awful...

Frist they made me choses some ludicris weaponary (I got to choses from things like a giangt fish and a lollypop just seriosuly WTF, btw I chose the fish) THEY MADE ME BEAT UP A LIVING CREATER. THEY MADE ME BEAT THE FUCKING FUR OFF OF A BEAUTIFUL WOOLY, WITH OUT REGARD TO HOW THE WOOLY MIGHT FEEL. JUST WTF? When I asked them about this they were just like

"OLOLOLOL IT CANT FEEL ANYTHING OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LAWL"

Can't feel anything my ASS! Haven't theses people ever heard of aniaml curlty just what the hell is going on SERIOUSLY WHY IS THEIR NO HUMANITY IN THIS VILA PLACE? IS THERE ANY HOPE LEFT IN THE WORLD? WHY GOD WHY?

Spring 20, Year 1

TODAY IS THE DAY I WENT AND CONFRONTED THE BIG BUSTED RAINBOW LOVING CHICK!1q1!11 I walked all the way down the steps and walked all the way to her house she was like "RAINBOW COME MY ASS-INTANT" and I was like "can you..." But i then got cut off she was like "WE MUST COLLECT 28 PIECES OF RED GRASS AND 22 PEICES OF BLUE MWAHAHAHAH LOLOLOLLOL LAWL" and I was like "WAIT I NEED UR HEL-" AND SHE WAS like "NO YOU MUST DO AS I SAY BEFORE YOU CAN DISCUSE HOW MUCH SEX WE WILL HAVE lawl" so I was like "all right lets go" and then she was like "by "WE" I really meant you... NOW GO DO AS I SAY" I then got throwed out of her house and spent 2 hours working in the hot sun to find 28 peices of red grass and 22 peices of blue grass... it totes sucked... i cried a little bit so I got my sexy hot but lazy booty back to her house and told her the jizz of what was up and she was like "TAKE ME THERE NOW MUTHAR FUCKER! ABFHSGBHSRJBGB" so we went and she was like "RAINBOW NJFGNSJ GSHJ" and then made me do some stupid stuff and then she did stuff and then their was a rainbow bridge that it was just like HOLY FUCKING RHINE STONE COW PRINT PANTIES PENISES THAT IS A BRIDD THAT IS RAINBOW

and then I relase life was just like HOLY FUCKING RHINESTONED PANTIES WITH COW PRINTS LIFE IS JUST A LIKE A BIG RAINBOW WITH BOOBS

only I thought out loud about what it was just like and what life was just like so the big busted rainbow obbsed girl heard me and then cried and clapped her hands and told me "that was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard" BUT IT WAS PAST MIDNIGHT AND WELLS CAME OUT OF NO WHERE AND MADE ME GO TO SLEEP SO NO RACCON FIGHTING TONIGHT BITCHES AND BY BITCHES I MEAN BY DIRAY AND FUTURE SELF BUT I DONT THINK I WILL EVER REREAD THIS SHIT


	7. Spring 21 Year 1

Spring 21 Year 1

OKAY TODAY IS THE DAY I AM FINNALY GONNA DO IT (by do it I mean beat up the Raccoon gosh u r such a perver even though u r a fucking book) SO THIS CAUSES FOR SOME PELVIC THRUSTS I HAVENT FOUGHT THE beast YET BEACAUSE FRIST I HAVE TO MAKE LOVE TO MY HAND A A PIC OF A CERTAIN HAWT ONE EYED BLACKSMOIT BUT I SHALL RIGHT ABOTU IT WHEN I FINNALTY DOOOOOOO

sO afew like hours has pasted senice i wrote that shit that is located there ^ so yeah I got my sexy ass down da straitrescase by doing mah sexy swag. I know u r totes jelly right noawz but lets face it we all cant be Erin. And ladies I shall soon be Mr. Erin Raven and Raven will soon be known ass Mrs. Raven Erin totes sex right? I didn't feel like puttingd a y after sexy so i just puted sex, totes sexy rightz? SO anyways i just beated up a bunch of monsterz and i iz about to enter de layer of dat raccoon wish be luck. OH and becuase this is my diary and no one else will be viewing this fawking hawtness that i wish was full of porno but is really just filled with my deep emotional filled thoughts I should be noted this that BY fighting i rllyz mean running past them whille screaminged "MAH FACE OH NOEZ NOT MAH FACE I AM TOTES TOO SEXY FOR THAT U MOTHER FUCKER HO BITCH SLAP JIZZ FACEZ BASTARDEDS" WHEN I said that I foughted them, soz okay well yes yes very good indeed kind sir with the face that isnt reading my diary because yeah it is mah diary and it is perfectly safe in my house and i write with mah dick so lawl. So now it iz time to go in a fight the bastards well I should say bastard because there iz not like more than one so sorry for my minor spelling erro. Peace out bezztochez (And By Bezztochez I Rlly Mean Nobodies Cuz You Cant Like Totes Be Reading My Diary Unless You Dont Exsit Or Shit)

PANT PANT PANT

Oh My GAWD! I am bleeding very badly right now. I I I Beat it yes Yes I did I beated the Raccon that had been stealing evrything and made that creepy cook pissed (that fat guy luvs the cooking of the creppy cook and he is the father of Eyelyn but he is totes nawt hawt) so okay i was swanging mah shaword at this little raccon and then HOLY FAWK IT GREW SOOO FAWKING MUCH OH DEAR GOD HOW IT GREW jhewrfbhbshgbtusewug (that is a keysmash btw Idk how cuz i am writing this with pen and paper and IDK wut a keysmahs is so have fun with dat shit u book diary you) and i was like HOLY SHAT AND DEN I STARTED RUNNING AWROUNG IN VIRCLES!11!1!11!1! I WAZ SO TOTES DONE FOR when Raven showed up and lighted the racconn on fire. THE RACCON LIKE DIED AND SHIT LOL BUt then raven knocked me hard on the head (Dat is the reason why i am bleeding) and soo then i pasted out however before i pasted out i heard a loud noise so i shall go check out the soruce of that loud noise tommrow.


	8. SPR1NG 22 thru Spring 23

SPR1NG 22 Y34R 1

D34R BOOK,

L4T3LY 1 H4V3 B33N TH1NK1NG 4BOUT 4LL TH3 RUD3 WORDS 1 PUT 1N YOU 4ND 1 H4V3 COM3 TO TH3 CONCLUS1ON TH4T TH1S FOUL MOUTH3D L4NG4UG3 MOST COM3 TO 4 H4LT 4.S.4.P. B3S1D3S 4 LOOK 1N TH3 M1RROR SHOWS TH4T 1 4M 4 PROB4LY 4 G3ND3RLY CONF3SS3D 13 Y34R OLD G1RL OR 4 14 Y34R OLD M4L3 UK3... WH4T 3V3R TH4T M34NS.

LOV3 3R1N

NOW TO WR1T3 4BOUT MY D4Y.

SO 4FT3R 1 D34F34T3D TH3 R4CCON 1 C4M3 B4CK TO WH3R3 1 H34RD TH3 NOS13, 1 D1SCOV3R3D 4 ROUND ROOM W1TH 4N ORB 1N 1T, ONC3 1 TOCH3D TH3 ORB 1 W4S TR4NSFORM3D 1N TO 4 Y3LLOW SH34P L1K3 CR34TH3R 4ND TH3N 1 GOT 4 H34D 4CH3 4ND P4SS3D OUT, 1 H4D 4 DR34M WH1ST P4SS3D OUT 1 TH1NK 1T W4S 4 V1S1ON OF TH3 P4ST...

"M1C4H..." 4 M4NS VO1C3 C4LL3D OUT TO M3

"FOR TH3 L4ST T1M3 M1C4H 1S NOT 4 M4NLY 4ND S3XY 3NOUGH N4M3 FOR OUR SON 1T 1S 3R1N!"

1 C4N'T B3L1V3 1T TH1S M34NS 1 R3MB3R3D MY N4M3!

"W3LL F1N3 WH4T 3V3R... M1CH- 3RRRR 3R1N TH1S 1S HOW YOU CH4NG3 FROM YOUR HUM4N 4ND MONST3R FORMS"

TH3N SUDD3NLY L1L THR33 Y34R OLD M3 TR4NSFORM3D 1N TO 4 GOLD3N SH33P TH1NGY.

"3R1N YOU 4R3 TH3 B3ST WOOLY TH4T 3V3R W4S DON'T 3V3R FORG3T TH4T OK4Y" TH3 WOM4N TH3N K1SS3D M3 ON MY CH3CK.

1T TURNS OUT 1 4M H4LF HUM4N H4LF MONST3R! WH4T SHOULD 1 DO? WH4T WOULD H4PP3N 1F W3LLS FOUND OUT? H3 1S 1NCR3D1BL3 R4C1ST 4G41SNT MONST3RS!

1 SP3NT TH3 R3M4ND3R OF MY D4Y H1D1NG 1N MY HOUS3.

Spring 23 Year 1

Okay so I went to the town today and every one celebrated my success. They asked me where I was yesterday. I am now like a God to them =D

That day was full of lulz intill I rembered I forgot to give Evelyn a gift, so I raced over to her house a gave her silk string she thanked me and said it would be usefull but I can see the tears she was holding back, I feel like such a jerk.


	9. Spring 24 thru 25

Spring 24, Year 1

I went to fulfill Raven's request yesterday. She wanted to take me to Icy Rosebush which is located in Vale. The could winds were harsh and not what I'm use to. I don't know if I have ever seen snow before, I do wish I could recall my past. Did I have a lover? I suppose it doesn't matter now, I may have only lived here for a very short time, but already this fells like my home. The people here are so cruel to monsters, where I am from most have been free seeing is I am a half breed. The flower at the Icy Rosebush was stunningly breath taking. I haven't ever seen anything more amazing. Raven's red hair contrasted deeply with the snowy white backdrop. She looked like she didn't belong. Some fool would take a look at the long crimson hair that flows all the way down her back and then look at the backdrop and say she clashes, well they are a fool I tell you a fool. If only our date could have gone smoothly.

Shortly after we arrived at the Icy Rosebush, we took a walk around the flower. Raven stopped in her tracks when she came across a wooly. She kept on telling it that it was okay. She explained to me that it was only scared because it feared being scared, and told me not to get to close. The wooly then suddenly ran away. I still remeber the cold look in her eyes.

"You should stay away from me, too..."

I was shocked. "Why?"

Her eyes looked so dead as she said "Every one who gts close to me just disappears."

"How can that be? It can't be true." How could this be true?

She slowly faced the Rosebush, and rubbed her hands together for warmth "It was a while ago... I came to play here with a friend. ut - she disappeared. ... Right in front of me." She turned to me and looked me in the eyes "so..." she made a sharp turn to the rosebush "Erin, I... I don't want to be with you any longer." She began to run out but stopped mid way though. She pivoted on her toes so that she was facing me and spoke theses soul crushing words to me "Stay away from me... So today wa... my last request."

I yell out "What? Wait please come back!" but my the time the sound escapes my lips. It is too late Raven was gone.

Spring 25, Year One

HOLY CRAP WHAT IS UP WITH ME FORGETING THE SEXY LADIES BDAYS LATELY! Even though big busted rainbow chick ANNNOYS ME I still think she like hawt. AND I FORGOT TO GET HER A GIFT DJKAGHUSEBRG. I do the loical thing and throw a bunch of paint made from various berries on a blank peice of paper, and give it to her telling her I would have had it done yesterday but I totes didn't count in drying time

"HEY OMG I FOR GOT IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY SO I MADE YOU DIS" I said that as I handed her the picture

"RAINBOW"

"I PAINTED IT WITH MY THOUNGE AND BERRIES I FOUND IN THE WILD"

"OMG that is the best idea ever WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT. painting with thounges GENIUS! There is hope for you yet MY ASSAINT but why didn't you give this to me yesterday?"

"I didn't count in drying time lawl"

"normal I would turn you in to a work of art but i forgive you"

I WAS LIKE 

Oh might go out into the desert 2morrow


	10. Spring 26 thru Spring 30 Year 1

Spring 26, Year 1

OMG JUST GOT BACK FROM THE DESERT AND LET ME SAY ONE THING IT IS HOT! I GOT BEAT UP SOOOOOOO HARD! I found some organz I MEAN ORANGES dang I really need to stop writing with penz. I found this village thing but when I tried to get thru this horn chick was like "UR HOFRNLESS HORNLESSSSSS SUCK GTFO" and I was like "okkkkkkkkaaaayyyyyyy coco ladeh" So i transformed in to my WOOLY POWERJUP and got throu which really doesn't make much sence she made me go to an owl and do a request BLAH BLAH BLAH BLUH BLAH BORRING and then she begged me to stay. SHE WONT STOP CALLING ME COMRAID UGHHHHHHH. So I got my butt out of there. When I got home I took a walk in my farm land to pick my dead crops to paint them and sell them for full price when i saw a portal THAT LEAD TO THE VILLAGE HOW the something is that possible ALSO BECAUSE I AM SUCH A NICE FRIGGIN PERSON I GAVE THE FLOWER BISH'S SISTER A GIFT DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT SHE DID IN RETURN. SHE FRIGGN BITE ME. fml

Spring 27, Year 1

HOLY SOMTHING MY TREE GREW WTF BQQ? I NOW HAVE A CRAP LOAD OF ROOM! They wan't me to instal crap like a phramcy and blacksmith thing and accesery maker. JUST HOW MUCH TIME DO THESES NOOBS THINK I HAVE? In other news I finnaly bought all my kitchen crap from the creepy cheif dude. That was pointless because I can't cook. Why did I waste money on a fully working kitchen?

Spring 28, Year 1

Okay today is the spring crop crap. When I gave them my entry they were all like "THIS IS BEAUIFUL" and then when they took a bite "JCAJSDG THIS IS TERRIDBLE IT TASTES LIKE ASS ERIN YOU GET LAST PLACE" and then they passed out

Spring 29, Year 1

Okay this is the frist time in along time that Raven has talked to me back I mean I have been giving her flowers and crap but today was her brithday I gave her a gem this is all she said. "THANK I CAN MAKE A PENDENT OUT OF THIS KTHXBAI"

Spring 30, Year 1

I talked to Sophia again today. I would really like to marry her but she seems to hate me! When I talked to her she was like "Erin I HATE you your face is so REVLUTING I hope you DIE in on a BED FULL OF DOG SHIT, and I want MONSTERS to HAVE THERE WAY WITH YOU in a FORSET also I am SEXY." What did I ever do to her?


	11. Summer 1  Summer 3 Year 1

Summer 1, Year 1

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAH! What day is it today? FREAKING BEACH DAY ALL THE FINE LADIES IN THERE SIKMPY BATHING SUITS DANG. IT MAKES ME WISH I WASN'T SO ACTRIVED TO GUYS SO I COULD APPRIATE A WOMAN IN AN OUTFIT LIKE DAT. OHHHHHHHHH HAWT DAMN! But since I pretend to be str8 (See what I did there use an 8 in a word like a sk8er would AWWWWW YEEEEEAAAAAH) I'm pretend to get just as hard when I see them girls. TIME TO GO TO THE BEACH! Oh GOD all THEM BISHES AND FISHES! PIA GOT WET AND TURNED IN TO A MERMAID! I forgot that chick was a fisssssh… CAM STILL SMELLS MORE LIKE FISH THAN HER AND CARLOS CAN'T SEE WHAT I WRITE IN THIS BOOK SO HE CAN'T PWN MY BUTT SO HA HA HA HA SUCKER KISS MY BUM BUM! White haired lazy chick think shes FAT girllllll be crazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy if she think like dat! Some girls told me to stop staring at them I was like PFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I wasn't staring at THAT there was just a bug on your top... but then Carlos was like DONT BE STARING AT THEM LADIES STARE AT ME AND THEN I PASSED OUT

Summer 2, Year 1

So today I went over to Gaius/Raven's house/shop.

GAIUS IS THE HAWT ONE EYED BLACKSMITH! Anyways he was strange he was likeYOU DONT WANNA APPROCE RAVEN THE WRONG WAY NO NO NO NO NO YOU DONT IT WILL BE LIKE STRIKE IRON WHEN IT IS TOO HOT ONE WRONG MOVE AND IT FLIES IN TO YOUR EYE\ THATS HOW I LOST MY EYE YOU KNOW YOU DONT WANT TO LOSE AN EYE NOW DO YOU STIKE METAL WHEN ITS TOO HOT CUZ YOUR IMPAINENT IS HOW YOU LOSE EYES I LOST AN EYE ONCE TRUST ME I WOULD KNOW TAKE MY ADVICE AND DONT (HE SAID THE F WORD HERE OMG) ON MAKING THINGS WITH METAL OR RAVEN I really don't know what was wrong with him... oh and I talked to raven and she was like Do you fight monsters and i was like yeaahhh and she was like ITS BECAUSE THEY ARE MONSTERS ISNT IT ISNT IT YOU ALL BE REPIN ON THERE STYLE BECUASE THEY ARE MONSTERS ALL BECUASE THEY ARE MONSTERS HOW COULD YOOOOOOU

Summer 3, Year 1

I went to that desert place filled with HORN people again They be crazy up in that motofo


	12. Summer 4 Summer 5 Year 1

Summer 4, Year 1

I SHOULND HAVE DONE THAT DANG IT!

So you know how i went 2 dat crazy desert motofo place? YEAH well I spent alllllllll day there! And it was carlos birthday and he was angeryyyyyyyyy SO MOTOFOING ANGER BLARRRRRRRRRG BLUH BLAH BLRAG BLUE BRID BORDE BLLLLLARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG (in case you couldn't telllllll that means RLLY fricking angery) he came up to me and he was his buff and ripped sexy and strong self ASS ussal but and he was like

"Michelllla you fawking asssss hawk bro! dawg you totes aren't catchin any waves right now broooooooo that totes wasn't cool! You should have got some mad freashy caught fish tail for my frickin brathday im frickin put a Ding in ur head! What you did was like a knock out to my self estamne man. Prepare to turn your bod in to an Impact zone because you are gonna be Hard core Hammered by mah Long board brah! You kook! You cuz I hate you dosent mean that you don't get me a birthday prezzi! I mean for the love of waves I am practily ur pimp!"

Carlos THEN proceded to hit me with a board that was about 3 feet longer than his height and beat me to a pulp with it I passed out for afew hours. This made me kinda sad.

Summer 5, Year 1

I WAS AT THE BEACH TODAY AND I TREID TO GO SWIMMING BUT NO MATTER HOW HARD I TERID I JUST COULDN'T GET IN THE WATER its like there is a magical barrier blocking me from it! So yeah wtfbqq and Sophia cam to my house and was like

"I HATE YOU"

And I was like

"I know"

"You are the most REPLUSVIE and DISSCUSTING EXCUASEfor a MAN I have ever had the MISSSSSFORTANCE to make the accritence of. I want to BURN YOU AND ANYONE WHO HAS EVER LOVED YOU IN A FIRE!"

"damn that's hardcore"

"I NEVER wanna see you again" She then kissed me…. I was like WTF and she then ran away in tears

Bipolar bitch…


	13. Summer 6 Year 1

Summer 6, Year 1

Dear Diarrhea,

I think dat I should become a clown hawnk no w8 thsat would be retarded and im not retarded im very smart Sophia's faty fatjer soad so himself. :D

I went on a date with RAVEN THAT SEXY CRIMSION HEAD FACE taday. I tolded her I was married and had kids even though I DON'T ahahahahahaha Im so mother fillper smoth moter bleepers smooooooth. 8D

So what would be a romanitic thang to say to this chick I mean like "Hey your hair it flows to the ground in smoth lusterus waves of crimison, it reminds me of the color of my blood. There are feelings of wanting to presue a realsionship filled with muiltral generously, and perhaps some physical contact like lips touching ever so slightly, and maybe some slavia could be mixed in that prokess. Like it would be if there was a word for an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment, it would be full of it. passionate desire and intimacy is what I feel to you. It is like the converss of a feeling filled with a deep and emotional extreme dislike… like it is like totes less like platioc than like friendship and filled with makeouts ands stuff… Basicaly I want to have you in my bed and I am in lesbieans with you." Yeah that is romatic and stuff.

Also horny chick keeps on making me give her cake and says it mah pateradical duty (hehehe she said duty) to eat it with her

WHY ISNT SHE FAT YET?

Oh I gave fish girl a fish dish I found in the trash. She creyed I don't understand I thought that bitch loved fish. Why would it be upsetting for her to recive such a thang as a birthday poresernt?

Bipolar half-fish bitch…


	14. ZUMMER SEVENTH YARN ONE Summer 8 Tear 1

**ZUMMER SEVENTH, YARN ONE**

2day I went to the witches hut of witchiery.

I noted something there.

It's that that old ugly withc of a woman who charges me thousandas of dolaras for passing out and shit has the really big boobs. They aere like biger than the rainbow elfs boobs. But her granddaughter like doesn't have anyboobies. She like flat and stuff… she also looks 12….. would it be like legal to amrry her stufffffff…. Woooooahhh I think im like trppin or something sher stabed me with neefles and crap and I grew boobs but then she stabed me with something else and they whent away my boobies are gone SOB she also made me snort crap.

That old lady has bigg boobies but she is fat and ugly also 

Rainbow chick with big boobies isn't uglllly she is pretty and she isn't fat and she isn't old

Rainbow bow chick with whimsically big boogs I like your boobies but im not strarsight

*trasight

*str8 (screw this shit on something hard and papery)

**Summer, 8, Tear 1**

Okay so today I have to go to desert place. Someone got to give that chick cake before she flips her shit! Its fatty mcfatties birthday! He says he hates food so I'm going to give him a snow globe

I just gave him a snow globe and he throw it at me D=

Crap! Just got blood on the book.

Oh god now flower bish got high off flowers and is trying to lick it off my face

OH GOD

OH NO

EM MAH 

GROSS GROSS GROSS

That unclean womans thoung touched my face.

I just thru her out of the window.

She isn't awake… Is she dead or is she sleeping? God I sure hope she is dead.

Dang dessert is hawt. Like a friggn fire

HOW IS DWARFS BETTER THAN HUMANS WHEN THE ONLY DIFFERNCE IS EARS SHAPE?

AND SHE OFFERED ME CAKE AND I THROW IT ON THE GROUND

She is upset and kicked my assssssssssssssssssssssssss


	15. Summer 9th, Year One

**Summer 9, Year One**

So I was all chilling in the pedalment that is in the hawt dessert like I norm do. I was doing some stupid tact assigned by a horny chick lyke always, I wa2 making a sin and that sin was a sgin for the monstars to come choll with us cuz we all all re pretty fly for a whyite guy. And then suddenyy this pompoussy horny doucebamf in a cape comes up to me and started flipping out in a you know, classay mannerism he was going on about stuff about my spelling and how that wasn't engrish and I was like fawk you and shtye I mean my spelling and grammer is choice dawg it is perfecxt. So I cussed that motfo out and then he started haollaring at me for swearsing because it wasn;t propar fawk him and then horny chick came up and was like "OMG THIS IS NOT WHAT I ASSED YOU TA DO I WANT YOU TO GIF A FLOWER FROM THE FUCKING CATUS OR SOOME SHAT NOT MAKE SIGNS ALSO CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE DEAR GAWH I LOAFT CAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKE."


	16. Summer 10  Summer 11 Year 1

**Summer, 10, Year one**

Wait so I am half human and half wooly right? Does that mean a human and a wooly…. Did it OMG I AM GOING TO BE SICK!

**Summer, 11 Year 1**

Today the bipolar bitch who hates me cums over to my house that is also a tree but at the same time a house and OH DEAR SHIT WHY ARE MY STAIRS SOO LONG? AND IS LIKE "HAPPY HEARTS DAY I HOPE YOU HATE THIS GIFT" and hands me some classy butt flowers and chocolate and I am like "bitch please hearts day isn't till next week and thisi luv myself some chocalte so bye" I pushed her down the stairwell.i laughed she cried some people cant see the beautiful nature like I do I mean like wow seasons come and go like seasons, I can't belive it was just last season when it was spring!  
>i support monsters rights a lot seeing I am half of a monster I better support their asses, So I have been capturing random woolies in the frostiest and then sheering them and then selling their wool for big bucks. I HATE having mah effin wool removed but double standers FTW! I rember one time this crazy money loving chick removed my fur for money I rember it like it happened 3 mintues ago I had my wooly mode on, my golden fur was glistering in the sunlight I flixed and then this chick cme out she was wearing a komicoa and taxkled me she was like ":I SHALL MAKE SO MUCH MONERY OFF OF THIS" she wa s rought with the zisserous and gave me a nick in my eear I am supprised I didn't bleed anyways I have been doing more midnless tasks in the deseert for thoses jackasses that live in the desert who think there better cuz horn I still don't see y they hate humans, I don't see why that greedy bitch cant support monsters am I the only one in theses hell holes with an open mind? This place is sooo ugh I sjust can belive it?<p> 


	17. Summer 12 Year 1

**Summer, 12 Year 1**

iam steeping out of my house as i write this entraily

it is gaius bday today

i hate him

and by hatre i mean omg he is so hot he has one eye

he gives me boners

but i hatre him for macking on my crimson haired bby

btw i went on a hot date with her we both were wear basicly nothing at all but swimsuits and i told her i was married with kids lol #trollllll life

okay so yeah i have to get him a fucking bday present sooooo fuck

what do i get my mortal enimyne for a present

...

okay i gave him a condom

i dunno what da fawk a condom is

or where it came from

but thats what i got him

a condom

...

he put its on his head...

like a stupid hat

oh god i wish i lived an intresting life

i met a gay dwarf in the desert

i would ship him with gaiuus but

i already ship him with me

and the dwarf is ugly

so no.

im going to go take care of some new baddass in the deserty l8er

im so popular

too cool for you

peace out motherfucking book


End file.
